The Rubble That Falls Out Of My Brain

“Are you taking your shoes off right now like a fucking hippie? UGH.” - on the street

“Hahaha fucking snail you are the worst.” - via text

“So I’m not good enough for day sex now?” - in response to an autocorrect error

CityFair making the skyline weird. Just like Portland, I hear. (Taken with instagram)

My first front pager for The O. (Taken with instagram)

Molly Harbarger snail

Any day that ends in someone google searching “Molly Harbarger snail” is a good day.

• K: I FUCKING PUT MY BRA ON INSIDE OUT!
• K: this day.
• M: hahahahaha
• M: that's great
• K: UGH.
• K: There's probably fucking toilet paper hanging from my pants too.
• K: And cum in my hair.
• M: EW
• M: TOO FAR
• K: hahaha
• K: hahahahaha
• K: But Ben Stiller got away with it!
• M: yeah, well, ben stiller is not someone i hung out with last night.
• M: hahahahaha
• K: Well I didn't have cum in my hair then!
• K: So I'm on the right track.
• M: right
• M: i'm just saying, i would know who and where that cum came from
• M: and that is gross
• K: hahaha
• K: My bad.
• M: can we stop saying cum?
• K: Cum.
• K: Sure we can stop saying cum.
• M: i hate you.
• K: But why? What's your aversion to the word cum?
• K: I mean, cum on.
• K: Cum is just a word.
• K: You'll cum around to it eventually.
• M: i hope you are the first to be fired.
• K: Ugh!
• K: I'm cuming for you if that happens.
• M: MAKE IT STOP
• K: Cum right over there with a loaded gun.
• K: 'hahahahaah
• K: this is bringing a tiny ray of joy to my morning.
• M: it is bringing a tiny rain of vomit into my mouth.
• K: : hahaha

• Elliot: Being friends with you is kind of like watching Glee, in that you forget they're in Ohio until they throw in an Ohio reference out of the blue.
• Also, being friends with you doesn't suck after year or so.

• Kelly: God I hope they didn't cry together.

• Sarah: Exactly! I am going to send my professors vaguely worded emails about an unavoidable reason I had to go to California and call it a day. let them assume something
• me: like lesbian camp. i always assume lesbian camp
• Sarah: Yes well that is how you and law professors differ

• Nicole: APPROPRIATE APPROPRIATE
• stop masturbating in my culture
• me: ew, dude.
• Nicole: spoken word. right here. right now.
• EW is right, molly
• cultural appropriation is GROSS, molly
• it SHOULD make us feel disgusted.

cordjefferson:

Believed to be the last three cans of original recipe Four Loko on the Hawaiian islands.

Thank goodness people are documenting this. We can start a network. I am pretty sure I have the last four in Oregon.